Has anyone not recognized they were abused until much later?

I knew I had a shitty relationship. He cheated and lied all the time. When I found out he was messaging my underage sister who was staying with us, I finally kicked him out for good. In my head, I was just not going to risk my sister for him no matter what he said or how much it hurt. Shortly after, I got critically ill.

When I finally recovered from my sickness and was ready to start dating again, it had been 3 years and I was pretty much over what he did because enough time had passed right??

It’s now been 5 years, I’ve dated a bit, and had a couple of exclusive relationships. Why am I now just recognizing the amount of baggage I’m carrying from him into my new relationships??! I thought I was healed! He died a couple of years ago and he’s still controlling my life and making me miserable!!

I’m working with a therapist but how can I unpack things that I thought I was already over so I can move on and be happy?