I feel like shit

Stopped my 3 to 3 month invega injection in September and since then I have felt like the same, no motivation, depression, memory problems...I was taking for 2 years, and now that I stopped I thought things would get better, but I dont see light at the end of the tunnel yet.Maybe waiting for 2 more years of side effects? What do u think? Btw I used to be forced to take by court order and still am supposed to take it, but since I am not psychotic by psychologist evaluation and only side effects I wanted to stop and I dont think they can force me anymore ,only if I am a danger to others which I am not because of the report.They can always justify their actions through a diagnosis like bipolar.U are just their chemical slave. I have still hope, but I always read some shitty stories and stuff ocasionally and start to feel worse.I saw a study saying that 10% or so of brain shrinkage happens related to decision making or so.Can it be reversable? I hope so since supposedely g (general intelligence) is stable during our life time, but I am not really sure how that works when u add antipsychotics and see its long term effects. I am afraid my memory will never be the same.I used to be so good at certain subjects like physics but I am not sure I have the capacity to get to a complex degree in the future given the circumstances. I know this is considered a rant, but if it was not for these rants I think I wouldnt be here. Honestly people stories are very sad to see overall, I hope all the best to you and your families. Have hope, since that is the only thing we can have to keep surviving this hell.